Turns out Mom had a valid argument!  I used to think that she was being vague, evasive, or obtuse when I’d ask her the most ingenious question a speaking person can concoct “Why?” She’d simply reply with these wise words, repeatedly, usually getting louder with each follow up request.  “Because. I said so!  That’s why.”

She must have thought that I didn’t hear her first response, which would explain her generous willingness to repeat the answer no matter how many times I’d ask.   But truth is; I could hear her.  I didn’t understand her.  And for some reason, we as humans, especially young ones, just don’t take the time to clarify our requests.  If I had only asked her what she meant when she replied the way she did, I could have saved myself years of frustration and given myself a lead in the manifestation department.  But alas, that’s Cruzan in my Mojito, hindsight has had lasik, thanks to Uncle Gov for flex spending accounts.

In any case here’s what I might have learned about life if I’d rephrased my question:

(What is Mom so right about?  Let’s break it down:)

“Why”
Why is the core question.  It’s the only one in the basic question family (‘who’, ‘what’, ‘when’, ‘where’, ___, and cousin ‘how’) that requires the triple ‘I’s (introspection, imagination, and investigation).  In that the rest can be resolved with pure facts or good planning, even if research is required.   The why question is essential and in this scenario was most often followed with a “can’t I?”  In other words, I wanted something and Mom prohibited.  Translation, I want something and life ain’t coughing.

• Have a goal (Want something.  Seriously, a lot of people I know have no idea what they want, and they spend a lot of time searching for, well, nothing.  It’s very simple, just pick something. Anything.  Start small if you need, but choose something to want.)
• Measure it (So you know if you got it or not.)
• Investigate (When you’re off track - ask why?)

“Because, I said so!” (with emphasis)
Because, period.  I said so, explanation point!  Beautiful, remarkably beautiful.  “Because.”  Translation “It is, because, it is.”  Ethereal, yet existential, nice Mom!   “I” Translation “I, me, not you, someone other than you, someone bigger maybe, who knows better, and doesn’t always have time to explain everything, but generally speaking, has your best interest in mind, so that’s how it is.”

• Get spiritual (Realize there’s something bigger than you here, it may just be humanity itself; but it is something bigger than you.  Participate in making it better.)
• Get real (be in the moment, live life, ‘chit’ happens, move on.)
• Trust reliable counsel (Get expert advice if things aren’t working the way you want.  Then follow the advice.  Just make sure the source is an expert in that area.  IE: Don’t ask your best friend for money advice unless he’s a Trump.  Don’t ask your divorced parents for relationship advice.  Ask from a person who has what you want.  They don’t have to be the best in the field, just better than you.  Let’s face it you can always upgrade later.)

“said so!”
Translation, words create reality.  Declare it, affirm it.  Heck, even repeat it, often and with emphasis! Until you get what you want.

• Create affirmations (write empowering statements)
• Use your affirmations (read them aloud daily)
• Believe your affirmations (take them to heart, find a way to state them so that you can believe what they mean right now and also what they will mean for you in the future.  Example, if you want to be rich and don’t quite believe it now… instead of “I am rich” use “I am wealthy.” Which you can justify by thinking of all the things in your lifestyle that make you wealthy and also can be empowering towards your money goals too.  The main point here is don’t choose something you can’t believe and then spend every day stating out loud the affirmation, but under your breath calling yourself a liar.  This has a worse effect than saying nothing at all.)
• Words create reality (you create your world through your words.  Monitor them, they have power.  Use them to create.  Honor your words so that the tool will be valuable.)

(repeatedly)
And again, and again, and aaaagain. In fact, as many times as necessary to get the job done.

• Ask again (there wasn’t much harm in asking again, and sometimes it worked… and sometimes ‘no’ only means ‘not today’ or ‘not me’ or ‘not this way’.  Realize this and use it to find another way to get what you want.)

“… stay up?” (bonus lessons)
Lots of times, the “can’t I” was followed with this one simple thought “stay up?” as in to watch some show on TV or hang out and giggle, or something else that seemed really important at the time, but in the scale of things, conflicted with a more important goal, like being well rested for the big test tomorrow or able to wake up for the fabulous field trip.

• Health is Wealth (Get lots of rest!  Seriously, lots of people forget this, including great coaches.  Eat right, exercise, drink little unless it’s water in which case do the opposite – you know the drill.)
• Choose wisely (know which goals are most important to you, so when they are in conflict, which they will most likely be at some point, you choose well.  Because as my friend Rick would advise, “You can have anything, you just can’t have everything.”)

“That’s Why”
That’s why.  Translation, there’s an answer in here that you can use, you just have to find it, even if I don’t know what it is, you can figure it out.

• Learn (The answers are there, sometimes in your face, and often showing up in the results you don’t want instead of the ones you do want.)

So, as life happens, which ‘chit’ will, learn from it and turn every experience into a powerful one.

Now it’s time for me to go thank Mom for all the pearls, but check back later to learn more, cause Mom had a lot to say!