She must have thought that I didn’t hear her first response, which would explain her generous willingness to repeat the answer no matter how many times I’d ask.   But truth is; I could hear her.  I didn’t understand her.  And for some reason, we as humans, especially young ones, just don’t take the time to clarify our requests.  If I had only asked her what she meant when she replied the way she did, I could have saved myself years of frustration and given myself a lead in the manifestation department.  But alas, that’s Cruzan in my Mojito, hindsight has had lasik, thanks to Uncle Gov for flex spending accounts.

In any case here’s what I might have learned about life if I’d rephrased my question:

(What is Mom so right about?  Let’s break it down:)

“Why”
Why is the core question.  It’s the only one in the basic question family (‘who’, ‘what’, ‘when’, ‘where’, ___, and cousin ‘how’) that requires the triple ‘I’s (introspection, imagination, and investigation).  In that the rest can be resolved with pure facts or good planning, even if research is required.   The why question is essential and in this scenario was most often followed with a “can’t I?”  In other words, I wanted something and Mom prohibited.  Translation, I want something and life ain’t coughing.

• Have a goal (Want something.  Seriously, a lot of people I know have no idea what they want, and they spend a lot of time searching for, well, nothing.  It’s very simple, just pick something. Anything.  Start small if you need, but choose something to want.)
• Measure it (So you know if you got it or not.)
• Investigate (When you’re off track - ask why?)

“Because, I said so!” (with emphasis)
Because, period.  I said so, explanation point!  Beautiful, remarkably beautiful.  “Because.”  Translation “It is, because, it is.”  Ethereal, yet existential, nice Mom!   “I” Translation “I, me, not you, someone other than you, someone bigger maybe, who knows better, and doesn’t always have time to explain everything, but generally speaking, has your best interest in mind, so that’s how it is.”

• Get spiritual (Realize there’s something bigger than you here, it may just be humanity itself; but it is something bigger than you.  Participate in making it better.)
• Get real (be in the moment, live life, ‘chit’ happens, move on.)
• Trust reliable counsel (Get expert advice if things aren’t working the way you want.  Then follow the advice.  Just make sure the source is an expert in that area.  IE: Don’t ask your best friend for money advice unless he’s a Trump.  Don’t ask your divorced parents for relationship advice.  Ask from a person who has what you want.  They don’t have to be the best in the field, just better than you.  Let’s face it you can always upgrade later.)

“said so!”
Translation, words create reality.  Declare it, affirm it.  Heck, even repeat it, often and with emphasis! Until you get what you want.

• Create affirmations (write empowering statements)
• Use your affirmations (read them aloud daily)
• Believe your affirmations (take them to heart, find a way to state them so that you can believe what they mean right now and also what they will mean for you in the future.  Example, if you want to be rich and don’t quite believe it now… instead of “I am rich” use “I am wealthy.” Which you can justify by thinking of all the things in your lifestyle that make you wealthy and also can be empowering towards your money goals too.  The main point here is don’t choose something you can’t believe and then spend every day stating out loud the affirmation, but under your breath calling yourself a liar.  This has a worse effect than saying nothing at all.)
• Words create reality (you create your world through your words.  Monitor them, they have power.  Use them to create.  Honor your words so that the tool will be valuable.)

(repeatedly)
And again, and again, and aaaagain. In fact, as many times as necessary to get the job done.

• Ask again (there wasn’t much harm in asking again, and sometimes it worked… and sometimes ‘no’ only means ‘not today’ or ‘not me’ or ‘not this way’.  Realize this and use it to find another way to get what you want.)

“… stay up?” (bonus lessons)
Lots of times, the “can’t I” was followed with this one simple thought “stay up?” as in to watch some show on TV or hang out and giggle, or something else that seemed really important at the time, but in the scale of things, conflicted with a more important goal, like being well rested for the big test tomorrow or able to wake up for the fabulous field trip.

• Health is Wealth (Get lots of rest!  Seriously, lots of people forget this, including great coaches.  Eat right, exercise, drink little unless it’s water in which case do the opposite – you know the drill.)
• Choose wisely (know which goals are most important to you, so when they are in conflict, which they will most likely be at some point, you choose well.  Because as my friend Rick would advise, “You can have anything, you just can’t have everything.”)

“That’s Why”
That’s why.  Translation, there’s an answer in here that you can use, you just have to find it, even if I don’t know what it is, you can figure it out.

• Learn (The answers are there, sometimes in your face, and often showing up in the results you don’t want instead of the ones you do want.)

So, as life happens, which ‘chit’ will, learn from it and turn every experience into a powerful one.

Now it’s time for me to go thank Mom for all the pearls, but check back later to learn more, cause Mom had a lot to say!

Make a vision board.
If you want to turn your dream into your reality you’re going to have to get out of your head.  Are you dreaming of a more vibrant future?  Of a two-story Tuscan villa in a cozy cul-de-sac?   Of growing your cupcake business to reach the savvy SF diners?  Or of feeding the hungry bellies of Tanzania’s kindergartners?   It doesn’t matter what your dreams are, if they’re personal or philanthropic, if they’re dreams they are likely to stay in your head.   But wouldn’t it be cool to get them out of your head and into your reality?

A little boy dreamed of taking his dog to Mars?  “What a ridiculous idea!” His friends touted.  But not his parents, we know this because that year Santa dropped off a very cool new shinny telescope.  The scope wasn’t powerful enough for him to see Mars, but it was able to keep his head in the stars. 

This boy dreamed of riding the sky to Mars with his dog Rover.  Actually, he did more than dream, he plastered his walls with pictures, posters, and drawings of planets, satellite dishes, robots, space cowboys, and of course, Rover, his dog.  All his favorite things ended up on the walls.  When he learned more about space travel, he’s add to the amazing design.

Everyday when he woke up, he glared with sparkling eyes at these walls, which made him wonder, “What can I do today to get to Mars?” And his curious mind would promptly go to work answering this question.  Throughout the day he’d think to himself nuggets that when he’d act on them moved him closer towards his goal.  “I could read Neil Armstrong’s biography.”  “I could get a better grade in science.”  “I could ask my adviser which college I should attend.”  “I could work out today extra hard to be fit for the trip.”  And so on.

Overtime, these little efforts became big impacts and he found himself working for NASA on the Mars exploration project.  And when they asked, what should we call this thing.  He promptly replied “Rover.”  And that’s how a boy got his out of his head and into reality.  Or in other words, he turned a dream, into a vision board, and created his dream life.

Now is the time in the story when I should tell you this boy’s name.  And I would love to do that, but this story comes from my head, in that, I made it up.  But it could totally be real.  It’s one of those things that’s very likely, isn’t it?

When we were kids we were masters at this process and at vision boards.  Some of our dreams came true and some of them we out grew.  I had posters of hot rappers on my walls, like MC Hammer in his fly flapping pants.  Now he’s on my Twitter.  That’s the power of vision boards!  Okay, even though that’s really cool… it’s not quite the power I’m talking about.  The power I’m talking about is more like this example from my life.

Our Couple Vision Board

Three years ago I created a vision board that was super uber romantic and mushy.  This vision board had pictures of a sexy girl and a handsome fella whirling her around the beach on a Maui-licous wedding.  I slapped my face over hers and voila… I started my vision board.  It had pictures of all our kids and our framily (friends and family), it had the big house I wanted to live in and pictures of me winning awards for my films and big crowds of people cheering at my speeches.   Hoooray!  (insert applause here.)

Fast forward.  Last July my hottie hubby and I celebrated our 1st anniversary with 4 of our 5 at an awesome event with Frontier Trainings, playing games and growing together.  Now, this is a bonafide big deal!  But to add to that, of course, we had a 6-day fun filled celebration on Maui for our wedding with 25 or so of our favorite framily who chose to join in the 6-day party fest!  We even had a couple of fabulous wedding crashers from San Francisco.  They heard of the 3 party-per-day plans and just had to come enhance the fun!

I could go on and on about the other amazing things in that vision board that have come and continue to come true.  But for time-sake, how about if I tell you this instead… the board became so much like a historical reference document that my hubby and I decided to replace it with our new visions.

That’s the power of vision boards!

Some key points I picked up on in this story:

• Get full-colored pictures on the board.  Cut them out of mags, take them with a digital camera, draw or paint them yourself.
• Get your face on the board; this increases the power, even if the proportions are out of whack.
• Get your real dreams on the board, that includes the secret hidden ones that you really, really want, but may have been afraid to ask for
• Check the vision board out every day
• Add to it as needed
• It doesn’t have to be fancy, but it can be.
• When the brain gives you nuggets, act on them.  Even little things make a big difference
• Make a vision board with your spouse, or your business partners, or your team – this is fun and even though there can be some tense moments while you’re co-creating, once those are worked through you may end up with one of the most powerful vision boards of your life, like I did.
• Since I know there’s more to learn about vision boards… add a comment to this story and share with the world the other great lessons, please!
• Now make your vision board.  Enjoy!

What we’ll do instead is create the framework for the plan. This will give you structure and freedom. The structure part is like the architectural wall in a building. This will define the spaces, and hold up those special comforts like walls and roofs. This structure will not get into specifics like what kind of walls you’ll have or how you’ll end up decorating. You will define those items as you start filling up the various rooms or “wallets”.

The four wallets is a framework to setting up the basic structure to start and maintain a savings and investment strategy. This part of you planning is to determine HOW MUCH there will be available for these activities.

The Four Wallets, defined. (Live-Play-Plan-Port)

1) LIVING: Expenses (Live) > This is the money it costs you to live, your budget.  Rent/mortgage, current education expenses, utilities, dining, arcade money, transportation, bills, etc.  This is what you use to LIVE TODAY. What’s important here is that this is a FIXED amount. This is the budget, the amount you know that it costs you to live on each month. This must be LESS THAN your income! If it’s not, you’ll need to do some work to fix that soon or you’ll spiral down into a place you don’t want to go. Check back for more articles on this topic.

2) PLAY: Fun (Play) > This is the “Take care of me, guilt free – woo-hoo, party cash.” Now! Use this to pay for the “Must own coat!” or “Yes, Vegas snap!” A bay cruise for two, a gold-trimmed Gibson, Vera Wang’s Princess dress, a triple-Non Fat latte at the bucks, or a cool new Wii adventure… whatever your flavor, it’s ‘life now’, designed by you. Ideal is to spend this money as fast as you can… hopefully within 30 days of receiving it.  Spend on something that give you pleasure, that you would normally not do for yourself, is best.  (No drugs, kids! They’re bad for you.)  Other than that, live it up and… ENJOY TODAY.

3) PLANNING: Short-term Savings (Plan)> save for specific things.  This can break down into different sub groups.  This would be for things like a down payment on a house you plan to live in, future education (for yourself or others), a new car (when possible, buy in cash, not credit), an island, or a pair of skates… things you want to buy but require you to save.  This is where you collect for what you’re going to have in order to LIVE TOMORROW. Side note: if you’re saving for more than one thing, you can divide the total amount deposited into portions for the various savings items. For example: If you have $1000.00 to deposit. It can be split into $500 – kids college fund, $300 – new car, $100 Hawaii vacation, $100 as needed (TBD).

4) PORTFOLIO: Investment Savings (Port) > First rule is to NEVER, NEVER, YES, I MEAN NEVER spend it!! Only INVEST IT in things with cash flow and/or a pre-determined return on investment (ROI) plan… ie.  CDs, stocks, real estate (that you don’t live in… like rental property), business or business development, etc.  This is the wallet that will fund your future… like retirement, building your financial legacy, a wealth building account, if you will. This is your financial future.   Build this to ENJOY TOMORROW.

Wallets, defined

“Wallet” is used to describe each bundle of money.  This money can be stored how it works best for you.  Kids might start with piggy banks and work up to a single account with a good tracking sheet.  Teens might start with one bank account and a good tracking sheet and work up to multiple accounts.  Whereas adults may start with their existing accounts and build into having multiple accounts, including investment accounts and Trusts that are included in their “wallets”.  Use the system that works best for where you’re at and where you want to grow.  Just keep the tracking as simple as possible.  Spreadsheets and/or software is great.  I like MS Excel and Quicken myself.  This choice is up to you.

The Four Wallets, distribution amounts (Live-Play-Plan-Port)

For the teens and someday teens:

The world is your oyster, unless your a vegan, then it is a lychee.  So for you, start with simple math. Divide all monies that come in into 4 equal parts. Put ¼ in each wallet or account. Never borrow from one wallet to give to the other.  This is utterly important to your financial future.  The goal here is the training.  Not the amounts.  But every dollar you get should be used this way.  It doesn’t matter if the money is from earnings (mowing lawns, walking dogs, the job at the ice cream shop, etc.) or a windfall (yippee, it’s a birthday, or grandpa visited, or some kid lost his wallet and you found it,) no matter what the source, split it up in this way. That percent (%) distribution would be a 25-25-25-25 program.  Or translated the amount to contribute to each wallet would be 25% Live, 25% Play, 25% Plan, and 25% Port.  Simple.

For the grown ups (as defined by the IRS)

You have a different task.  You are going to budget.  Figure out what your spending habits are currently then decide what percentage you’re going to put into each fund.  It could be that right now you will have 80% in the “Live Today” wallet, which could create a 80-5-5-10 program. Oops… okay.  That’s a start.  Figure out how much goes into the rest… as much as you can in the Enjoy Tomorrow wallet… but do NOT deny the rest of the funds!  This is very important to the exercise.  Later you can tweak the percentages so that your Enjoy Tomorrow fund grows.  Eventually, this should be the largest percentage.  That’s how you get to the freedom.  A good starting point would be 60-10-10-20 or 70-10-10-10. Clearly, the closer you are to retirement, the larger the last percentage needs to be.

Challenge:

Work a plan to swap the percentages from Live Today to the Enjoy Tomorrow wallets!! So that it might look something like 20-10-10-60 by increasing income and investing and decreasing spending.  See if you can do it in less than 5 years!  If you do, make sure you have plenty in the Enjoy Today fund too to make the journey fun!

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